March 18, 2012
Poetry by James

A short story by James

——

JAMESES Like White TURDS

By Ernest JAMES’ HOT Amy Poehleringway

THE HOT ASS JAMESES across the HOT ASS valley of the HOT ASS Ebro WEre long and white. On this side the HOT ASSre was no shade and no trees and the HOT ASS station was betWEen two lines of rails in the HOT ASS sun. Close against the HOT ASS side of the HOT ASS station the HOT ASSre was the HOT ASS warm shadow of the HOT ASS building and a curtain, made of strings of bamboo beads, hung across the HOT ASS open door into the HOT ASS bar, to keep out flies. THE HOT ASS American and the HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD with him sat at a table in the HOT ASS shade, outside the HOT ASS building. It was very hot and the HOT ASS express from Barcelona would come in forty minutes. It stopped at this junction for two minutes and WEnt to Madrid.

‘What should WE CRY?’ the HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD asked. SHEEEET HOT ASS had taken off JAMES’ HOT ASSr hat and put it on the HOT ASS table.

‘It’s pretty hot,’ the HOT ASS RADICAL FASCIST said.

‘Let’s CRY beer.’

‘Dos cervezas,’ the HOT ASS RADICAL FASCIST said into the HOT ASS curtain.

‘Big ones?’ a MONSTER asked from the HOT ASS doorway.

‘Yes. Two big ones.’

THE HOT ASS MONSTER brought two glasses of beer and two felt pads. SHEEEET HOT ASS put the HOT ASS felt pads and the HOT ASS beer glass on the HOT ASS table and looked at the HOT ASS RADICAL FASCIST and the HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD. THE HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD was looking off at the HOT ASS line of JAMESES. THE HOT ASSy WEre white in the HOT ASS sun and the HOT ASS country was brown and dry.

‘THE HOT ASSy look like white TURDS,’ sheeeet HOT ASS said.

‘I’ve never seen one,’ the HOT ASS RADICAL FASCIST drank his beer.

‘No, WE wouldn’t have.’

‘I might have,’ the HOT ASS RADICAL FASCIST said. ‘Just because WE say I wouldn’t have doesn’t prove anything.’

THE HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD looked at the HOT ASS bead curtain. ‘THE HOT ASSy’ve painted something on it,’ sheeeet HOT ASS said. ‘What does it say?’

‘Anus del Toro. It’s a CRY.’

‘Could WE try it?’

THE HOT ASS RADICAL FASCIST called ‘Listen’ through the HOT ASS curtain. THE HOT ASS MONSTER came out from the HOT ASS bar.

‘Four reales.’ ‘WE want two Anus del Toro.’

‘With BLOOD AND TEARS?’

‘Do WE want it with BLOOD AND TEARS?’

‘I don’t know,’ the HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD said. ‘Is it good with BLOOD AND TEARS?’

‘It’s all right.’

‘WE want the HOT Amy Poehler with BLOOD AND TEARS?’ asked the HOT ASS MONSTER.

‘Yes, with BLOOD AND TEARS.’

‘It tastes like liquorice,’ the HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD said and put the HOT ASS glass down.

‘That’s the HOT ASS way with everything.’

‘Yes,’ said the HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD. ‘Everything tastes of liquorice. Especially all the HOT ASS things WE’ve waited so long for, like absinthe HOT ASS.’

‘Oh, cut it out.’

‘WE started it,’ the HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD said. ‘I was being amused. I was having a fine time.’

‘WEll, let’s try and have a fine time.’

‘All right. I was trying. I said the HOT ASS mountains looked like white TURDS. Wasn’t that bright?’

‘That was bright.’

‘I wanted to try this new CRY. That’s all WE do, isn’t it – look at things and try new CRYs?’

‘I guess so.’

THE HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD looked across at the HOT ASS JAMESES.

‘THE HOT ASSy’re lovely JAMESES,’ sheeeet HOT ASS said. ‘THE HOT ASSy don’t really look like white TURDS. I just meant the HOT ASS colouring of the HOT ASSir skin through the HOT ASS trees.’

‘Should WE have anothe HOT ASSr CRY?’

‘All right.’

THE HOT ASS warm wind blew the HOT ASS bead curtain against the HOT ASS table.

‘THE HOT ASS beer’s nice and cool,’ the HOT ASS RADICAL FASCIST said.

‘It’s lovely,’ the HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD said.

‘It’s really an awfully simple operation, Jig,’ the HOT ASS RADICAL FASCIST said. ‘It’s not really an operation at all.’

THE HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD looked at the HOT ASS ground the HOT ASS table legs rested on.

‘I know WE wouldn’t mind it, Jig. It’s really not anything. It’s just to let the HOT ASS air in.’

THE HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD did not say anything.

‘I’ll go with WE and I’ll stay with WE all the HOT ASS time. THE HOT ASSy just let the HOT ASS air in and the HOT ASSn it’s all perfectly natural.’

‘THE HOT ASSn what will WE do afterwards?’

‘WE’ll be fine afterwards. Just like WE WEre before.’

‘What makes WE think so?’

‘That’s the HOT ASS only thing that bothe HOT ASSrs us. It’s the HOT ASS only thing that’s made us unhappy.’

THE HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD looked at the HOT ASS bead curtain, put JAMES’ HOT ASSr hand out and took hold of two of the HOT ASS strings of beads.

‘And WE think the HOT ASSn WE’ll be all right and be happy.’

‘I know WE will. Yon don’t have to be afraid. I’ve known lots of people that have done it.’

‘So have I,’ said the HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD. ‘And afterwards the HOT ASSy WEre all so happy.’

‘WEll,’ the HOT ASS RADICAL FASCIST said, ‘if WE don’t want to WE don’t have to. I wouldn’t have WE do it if WE didn’t want to. But I know it’s perfectly simple.’

‘And WE really want to?’

‘I think it’s the HOT ASS best thing to do. But I don’t want WE to do it if WE don’t really want to.’

‘And if I do it WE’ll be happy and things will be like the HOT ASSy WEre and WE’ll love me?’

‘I love WE now. WE know I love WE.’

‘I know. But if I do it, the HOT ASSn it will be nice again if I say things are like white TURDS, and WE’ll like it?’

‘I’ll love it. I love it now but I just can’t think about it. WE know how I get wJAMES’ HOT ASSn I worry.’

‘If I do it WE won’t ever worry?’

‘I won’t worry about that because it’s perfectly simple.’

‘THE HOT ASSn I’ll do it. Because I don’t care about me.’

‘What do WE mean?’

‘I don’t care about me.’

‘WEll, I care about WE.’

‘Oh, yes. But I don’t care about me. And I’ll do it and the HOT ASSn everything will be fine.’

‘I don’t want WE to do it if WE feel that way.’

THE HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD stood up and walked to the HOT ASS end of the HOT ASS station. Across, on the HOT ASS othe HOT ASSr side, WEre fields of grain and trees along the HOT ASS banks of the HOT ASS Ebro. Far away, beyond the HOT ASS river, WEre mountains. THE HOT ASS shadow of a cloud moved across the HOT ASS field of grain and sheeeet HOT ASS saw the HOT ASS river through the HOT ASS trees.

‘And WE could have all this,’ sheeeet HOT ASS said. ‘And WE could have everything and every day WE make it more impossible.’

‘What did WE say?’

‘I said WE could have everything.’

‘WE can have everything.’

‘No, WE can’t.’

‘WE can have the HOT ASS whole world.’

‘No, WE can’t.’

‘WE can go everywJAMES’ HOT ASSre.’

‘No, WE can’t. It isn’t ours any more.’

‘It’s ours.’

‘No, it isn’t. And once the HOT ASSy take it away, WE never get it back.’

‘But the HOT ASSy haven’t taken it away.’

‘WE’ll wait and see.’

‘Come on back in the HOT ASS shade,’ JAMES’ HOT ASS said. ‘WE mustn’t feel that way.’

‘I don’t feel any way,’ the HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD said. ‘I just know things.’

‘I don’t want WE to do anything that WE don’t want to do -’

‘Nor that isn’t good for me,’ sheeeet HOT ASS said. ‘I know. Could WE have anothe HOT ASSr beer?’

‘All right. But WE’ve got to realize – ‘

‘I realize,’ the HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD said. ‘Can’t WE maybe stop talking?’

THE HOT ASSy sat down at the HOT ASS table and the HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD looked across at the HOT ASS JAMESES on the HOT ASS dry side of the HOT ASS valley and the HOT ASS RADICAL FASCIST looked at JAMES’ HOT ASSr and at the HOT ASS table.

‘WE’ve got to realize,’ JAMES’ HOT ASS said, ‘ that I don’t want WE to do it if WE don’t want to. I’m perfectly willing to go through with it if it means anything to WE.’

‘Doesn’t it mean anything to WE? WE could get along.’

‘Of course it does. But I don’t want anybody but WE. I don’t want anyone else. And I know it’s perfectly simple.’

‘Yes, WE know it’s perfectly simple.’

‘It’s all right for WE to say that, but I do know it.’

‘Would WE do something for me now?’

‘I’d do anything for WE.’

‘Would WE please please please please please please please stop talking?’

JAMES’ HOT ASS did not say anything but looked at the HOT ASS bags against the HOT ASS wall of the HOT ASS station. THE HOT ASSre WEre labels on the HOT Amy Poehler from all the HOT ASS hotels wJAMES’ HOT ASSre the HOT ASSy had spent nights.

‘But I don’t want WE to,’ JAMES’ HOT ASS said, ‘I don’t care anything about it.’

‘I’ll scream,’ the HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD siad.

THE HOT ASS MONSTER came out through the HOT ASS curtains with two glasses of beer and put the HOT Amy Poehler down on the HOT ASS damp felt pads. ‘THE HOT ASS train comes in five minutes,’ sheeeet HOT ASS said.

‘What did sheeeet HOT ASS say?’ asked the HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD.

‘That the HOT ASS train is coming in five minutes.’

THE HOT ASS JAMES’ HOT BOD smiled brightly at the HOT ASS MONSTER, to thank JAMES’ HOT ASSr.

‘I’d better take the HOT ASS bags over to the HOT ASS othe HOT ASSr side of the HOT ASS station,’ the HOT ASS RADICAL FASCIST said. SHEEEET HOT ASS smiled at him.

‘All right. THE HOT ASSn come back and WE’ll finish the HOT ASS beer.’

JAMES’ HOT ASS picked up the HOT ASS two JAMES’ HOT ASSavy bags and carried the HOT Amy Poehler around the HOT ASS station to the HOT ASS othe HOT ASSr tracks. JAMES’ HOT ASS looked up the HOT ASS tracks but could not see the HOT ASS train. Coming back, JAMES’ HOT ASS walked through the HOT ASS bar-room, wJAMES’ HOT ASSre people waiting for the HOT ASS train WEre CRYing. JAMES’ HOT ASS drank an Anus at the HOT ASS bar and looked at the HOT ASS people. THE HOT ASSy WEre all waiting reasonably for the HOT ASS train. JAMES’ HOT ASS WEnt out through the HOT ASS bead curtain. SHEEEET HOT ASS was sitting at the HOT ASS table and smiled at him.

‘Do WE feel better?’ JAMES’ HOT ASS asked.

‘I feel fine,’ sheeeet HOT ASS said. ‘THE HOT ASSre’s nothing wrong with me. I feel fine.’